Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Accepting things will be different... for now.

The last few days have not been good at all, but being honest that that is what they are and accepting that it won't be forever helps me to get through them.
I've been so tired - now usually I like sleep but having 15-16 hours a night and still feeling like you could do with a nap about 4pm is actually very annoying. I expected to feel a bit more like myself but I feel like an elderly version of what I was before I started my treatment. But I've accepted that that is ok.
I'm not expected to carry on as if nothing has changed, and my family and friends have certainly helped so that always have someone to talk to or someone I can ask to get me anything I need.
I describe days like these as 'Betty' days, days where I feel older and weak. I spend days like these doing a great deal of nothing at all. I don't get dressed, I stay in pyjamas and the only goal I have for the day is to get out of bed and come downstairs. Staying in bed all day doesn't help, and I have only spent one full day in bed when I was really struggling to walk.
It's only temporary, and as I'm now on my second cycle of chemotherapy and not back at the hospital until Tuesday, I'm hoping I will feel better by the end of this week - fingers crossed:)

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